Thursday, September 18, 2008

Unfortunate misuse of the CTR ring...

I hate the game of slug bug. You know the one where if you see the VW Bug first you get to punch someone in the arm and yell "slug bug, no slugs back". I hate that game so much (I am a black belt, but my kick is stronger than my punch) that I was thrilled when some CA cousins who shall remain nameless introduced us to Cruiser Bruisers. Same game, different car. Thanks. I had a friend who came up with hug bug instead, which I preferred, and it was working for our family, until Thing 1 became a teenager. It was irresistable to find a new wrestling avenue with Dad. It was irresistable to find out if he could punch hard enough to hurt Dad. Dad will not admit it to you, but he has admitted to me, Thing 1's punches are beginning to hurt. I let it go and chalked it up to a guy thing. As long as I am not involved, whatever.

Dad got home from work early, had the evening free, and so we decided to go on a family walk in beautiful fall weather. We even brought the dog, and the football. Cool, huh? Till thing one saw the P.T. Cruiser. Punched Dad in the back. I am not involved, whatever. Then I turn around to see Thing 2, my little girl, punch Thing 1 right in the chin!?!?!?! What are you doing? I missed? Missed what? His shoulder. By a long shot! In her defence Thing 1 is growing at an alarming rate. At the beginning of summer he had just barely become as tall as me. School has started. He is at least two inches taller than me. He is growing about 3/4" a month. So I thought, maybe it is hard to aim up. Maybe, she hit his arm and then it grazed off and accidentally hit his chin. Thing 1 states clearly that this was not the case.


Okay, Thing 2, my little girl, let me just give you some motherly wisdom. Dad and Thing 1 look like they are having fun playing this game. I can see how you think you might want to join in. Resist the urge. They are hurting each other. And laughing about it. This is a stupid game that boys play. Be smart. Do not play this game with them. If you do, you are opening yourself up and you will get nailed. 100 % dissatisfaction guaranteed.


Thing one is not satisfied with this lecture. He says it really hurt when Thing 2 popped him in the chin. Plus, you are supposed to hit in the arm. Yup, and she missed, and you hit Dad in the back and this game is stupid and if you don't want to get hurt don't play it. But it really hurt. Yeah, that is the nature of the stupid game. Buck up. You are big now. There is hair on your upper lip. She is a little girl. How bad could it be? Pretty bad. After mentioning his hairy upper lip, I now noticed the lip underneath it. It is bleeding. Not bad, but there are cuts on his chin. Oh my goodness!?!?! Didn't I start out on a Norman Rockwell painting like family walk? And it ends in bloodshed? Apparently it was her CTR that was the culprit. It stands for Choose the Right. I don't think that is how you are supposed to use those. I hope nobody in the neighborhood was watching. They might nominate us for a parenting award with the county's child protective services.


The bumper on my car is fixed. But the catalytic converter on the driver's side is not. And something is wrong with the steering wheel, and the passenger side mirror isn't doing the night dimming thing right anymore, and winter is coming and the back heater isn't working. So my car is in the shop. It has been there since Monday night. And it won't be done until Friday. That is the bad news. But, it is all under warranty and my warranty covers everything including a rental car. That is the good news. Until I see the rental car.

It is a P.T. Cruiser. The good news is now a little bit concerning for my family's welfare. I have got to get my car back before somebody in my family ends up looking like this:


"Cruiser Bruiser, no bruises back!"



7 comments:

Carole said...

Thanks for the laugh and tell Bob to suck it up or I will have to go into the abuse and beatings I took from him as a child. He beat me up worse than any of my older siblings ever did. Sounds like a great intro to my next blog entry.....

McEwens said...

Good laugh! I never cared for that game either! Specially when I was driving!!

Lisa said...

Me too! I HATE those games--it doesn't matter if they try and make it better by changing the name. I think it is just a ploy so they can hit each other more. Disclaimer: I am a bad Mom--I know it and my kids know it. That being said--every time they punch me I always reach over with an open palm and lightly smack them on the head and say--STUPID GAME!! So now when they punch me they duck and cover--silly me--I thought maybe it would stop some of the madness.

Manama mama said...

Hi Sherri,
I found your blog through Erin Brown's. This is such a funny entry, and brightened up my day in still-to-hot-to-get-out-and-do-anything BLAH-rain. Thanks! Hope you are all doing well. Love, The Thomsons

The Fox's said...

haha! I love your stories. i miss them! this is so funny. And i have noticed both your kids are growing so tall so fast! They are getting so old. Little merilee? Tell her to stop!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

First time here. Loved the post. Really funny writing.

I had forgotten about slug bug, but hated it. MY son used to play with his friends, and someone always went to far and someone always ended up mad.

kitchenditcher said...

Okay, this had me belly laughing out loud! TOO DANG FUNNY!! I'll bet Merrily will NEVER forget that she duked her brother and drew blood!

I always loved this game because I hit the hardest of all three of us!! hee hee