Dad got home from work early, had the evening free, and so we decided to go on a family walk in beautiful fall weather. We even brought the dog, and the football. Cool, huh? Till thing one saw the P.T. Cruiser. Punched Dad in the back. I am not involved, whatever. Then I turn around to see Thing 2, my little girl, punch Thing 1 right in the chin!?!?!?! What are you doing? I missed? Missed what? His shoulder. By a long shot! In her defence Thing 1 is growing at an alarming rate. At the beginning of summer he had just barely become as tall as me. School has started. He is at least two inches taller than me. He is growing about 3/4" a month. So I thought, maybe it is hard to aim up. Maybe, she hit his arm and then it grazed off and accidentally hit his chin. Thing 1 states clearly that this was not the case.
Okay, Thing 2, my little girl, let me just give you some motherly wisdom. Dad and Thing 1 look like they are having fun playing this game. I can see how you think you might want to join in. Resist the urge. They are hurting each other. And laughing about it. This is a stupid game that boys play. Be smart. Do not play this game with them. If you do, you are opening yourself up and you will get nailed. 100 % dissatisfaction guaranteed.
Thing one is not satisfied with this lecture. He says it really hurt when Thing 2 popped him in the chin. Plus, you are supposed to hit in the arm. Yup, and she missed, and you hit Dad in the back and this game is stupid and if you don't want to get hurt don't play it. But it really hurt. Yeah, that is the nature of the stupid game. Buck up. You are big now. There is hair on your upper lip. She is a little girl. How bad could it be? Pretty bad. After mentioning his hairy upper lip, I now noticed the lip underneath it. It is bleeding. Not bad, but there are cuts on his chin. Oh my goodness!?!?! Didn't I start out on a Norman Rockwell painting like family walk? And it ends in bloodshed? Apparently it was her CTR that was the culprit. It stands for Choose the Right. I don't think that is how you are supposed to use those. I hope nobody in the neighborhood was watching. They might nominate us for a parenting award with the county's child protective services.
The bumper on my car is fixed. But the catalytic converter on the driver's side is not. And something is wrong with the steering wheel, and the passenger side mirror isn't doing the night dimming thing right anymore, and winter is coming and the back heater isn't working. So my car is in the shop. It has been there since Monday night. And it won't be done until Friday. That is the bad news. But, it is all under warranty and my warranty covers everything including a rental car. That is the good news. Until I see the rental car.
It is a P.T. Cruiser. The good news is now a little bit concerning for my family's welfare. I have got to get my car back before somebody in my family ends up looking like this:
"Cruiser Bruiser, no bruises back!"